Sexual Communication


Sexual communication is the expression of thoughts and feelings concerning sex or sexual matters. It could take a variety of forms and situational applications. For instance, sexual communication could be verbal or non-verbal. People can send out sexual signals by way of dressing, voice and intonation, facial expressions, style of walking or just by smiling. Also, sexual communication could be romantic or non-romantic.

Importance of Sexual Communication

No relationship is sustainable without open, proper and continuous communication. In the context of relationship between couples, sexual communication is critically important. However, sexual communication is all too prone to being problematic because in many cultures around the world there are many taboos and stereotypes built around the subject of sex. In most cultures and traditions of the world sexual stereotype is that the man is the initiator of sex while women are some sort of gate keepers for sex. In order words, covert expressions of sexual interest by women is frowned upon. Also, children or underage are not expected to engage in sexual activity or discuss sex. This creates a problem in today’s world where children are exposed to sexual scenes from electronic media and their physical environment from an early age. In order to avoid frustration in their relationship, couples need to communicate effectively about sex. Parents also need to give their preteen or teenage children sex education before it becomes too late.

How to Improve Sexual Communication

Being a good sexual communicator depends on your ability to imbibe a communication behavior that is effective and also appropriate for the specific sex-related scenario. For example, your ability to identify or recognise your own expectations as well as your partner’s expectations is key in achieving excellence in sexual communication. Also, there is the need to constantly check out the meanings and the assumptions of your partner as well as your own meanings and assumptions.

You can start sexual communication with your partner by talking about your anxiety or discomfort or your feelings. Something like ‘I don’t feel comfortable’ or ‘I have never talked about my feelings before’ or ‘I don’t really know how best to say this’ could be the magic wand to kick start your sexual communication. If you feel a deep sense of anxiety, take a deep breath and that could help to launch you into engaging in effective conversation with your partner. However, while you may be tempted to gloss over many points of discussion, learn to stay with one concern or topic at a time.